It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
