Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
