so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
