Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
