I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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