I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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