Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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