i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
