I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Randomize
