That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
