I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
