I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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