is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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