AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
