we're chasing vodka with high fives
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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