I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I touched a dick in church today
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
