i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
