Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
