I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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