is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
