My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We need to get me chipped asap
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
