Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
