My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
