I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
