There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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