I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
