What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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