I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
