The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
