absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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