You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
