i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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