we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
