But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
