in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
