Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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