My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
