How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
now i know why i became what i already was.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
