So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Boobs are out for the taking
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
