dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
