I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
