So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
