So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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