Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How external is "for external use only"?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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