He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
