The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
