i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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