I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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