:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
