So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
