Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
