he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he fucked my hip out of place.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
