We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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