I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
